I just have this feeling that I’m never going to actually go anywhere on life. I’m on disability, can’t go out without an escort, can’t be in busy places without being high on ativan, and don’t see any of that changing. I can’t think. I couldn’t go to school & actually retain anything. I’m just a waste of space…
My surgery today went well. There was nothing to it. My chest is a little achy, but it’ll pass. My mom made supper tonight and we were watching Big Bang Theory (her favorite show) . I’m gearing down for the night so I’m on my kindle, starting my nightly routine.
But I’m feeling pretty down tonight. It seems that most people I meet are strong and have their lives semi figured out. Me? I try to put myself out there but my anxiety keeps me from doing so many things. I’ll never be able to bear a child. I’m a second class citizen in my mind. I don’t matter as much as someone else.
Going to end that here before it gets even more depressing. Peace out.