Just know that your time will come much too soon, even if you live to be 80 years old. I’ve lost too many people lately and to be the survivor is horrid. I’d compel you to live life to the best of your ability and accept that death will come when it’s meant to. And that time is years from now.
Also, I might call you House. Don’t you remember when he stuck a knife in a socket because he was wondering if there was an afterlife? It’s best to just live life as it comes. Peace.